


Feels like Hope.

by Soreidy_27



Category: The 100
Genre: Detoxing, F/M, Fluff, Inner Struggle, Love, a bit of ansgt, hope is everything, inner thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 20:16:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14984783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soreidy_27/pseuds/Soreidy_27
Summary: Marcus asked Abby, either the pills or him.What did Abby choose?Continuation from episode 5x07





	Feels like Hope.

**Author's Note:**

> That episode was designed to kill me. Everything is just so heartbreaking between Abby and Marcus and after he made Abby choose between him and the pills. That scene just killed him, specially Abby’s face so I just had to write it. I’ve never written kabby before so it’s new for me, please review.

**_And there is something 'bout the way you love me_ **

**_That finally feels like home_ **

**_You're my light, you're my darkness_ **

**_You're the right kind of madness_ **

**_And you're my hope, you're my despair_ **

**_You're my scope, everything, everywhere_ **

**Sweetest Devotion ~ Adele**

 

Exhaustion. That’s the first feeling that ripped through Abby’s fragile bones as she take a step then another towards the bedroom that once was home to her daughter for the better part of six years. As soon as she came face to face with the tortured wooden door, Abby inhaled at the moment her slightly shaken fingers grasped thedoor handle only to exhale when her ears picked up the whining sound of the door as she forced it open.

 

The first thing her moonlighteyes took in when she was fully inside the bedroom was the figure of the man that she’d long realized had taken possession of her very soul, long ago, lost in dreamland. As Abby’s eyes traced the lines of his silhouette of his muscled body, the ultimatum; him or the pills, instantly replied in her troubled mind over and over, his reaffirmation of love, his vow to go through fire for her all fell flat when his ‘threat’ spat from his lips. For the first two hours, as she stayed in the ‘medical bay’ tending to the symptomatic people, all that Abby had felt was anger, coupled with a little bit of resentment because how dare he think to make her choose between the one thing that’s keeping her sane enough to function and one of the only two reason why she even has the will to continue breathing.

 

It was not fair.

 

He didn’t know, Marcus couldn’t know what it was like to feel every part of you cracking piece by piece in a cruel, excruciatingly slow pace and feeling completely useless against it. He had no idea that every second of the day she had the sensation of being pulled apart and only finding her pieces being glued back together by the swallow of those damned pills. Marcus didn’t even had an ounce of insight to her situation so how could he even entertain the thought of being able to help?

 

But, as the sun began its journey down to let the moon take the spotlight in the sky and Abby’s body began to beg for rest and his touch, she had started to see it from his perspective.

 

Abby’s rational part had perceived that Marcus was being forced to watch the woman he loved suffer without being able to do much. Abby began to realize little by little just how useless and petrified Marcus must feel because she knew that if the situation were reversed those would be how she would feel at seeing the man she loved the way he has to see her now. All her jumbled thoughts continued to carry on as she shed each article of clothing until she was in her underwear and pulled the duvet around her body, resting her head on the pillow next to Marcus head and inhaling deeply, needing to take in his scent.

 

It still amazed her that through time and difficulties, just having his presence was enough to reassure Abby that there was hope for better. Marcus was Abby’s hope for better. That thought creates a gentle smile to spread on Abby’s lips at the truthiness of them. Gently as if any sudden move could destroy the tranquility of the moment, Abby brought her shaking fingers, first signs of detox Abby’s physician brain analyzed, she began tracing the stress lines that had with age became more prominent on Marcus handsome face, her eyes dancing from every little mark on his skin.

 

Her fingertips glided from the little beauty mark that resided in the corner of his left eye to the scar that she loved to bite and lick on his lower lip. All the while her heart beating a drum in her chest at all the sensations that this man was able to manipulate in her. Abby at that moment as her whiskey eyes saw his eyelids flutter with dreams, his mouth twitch upward at her touch and the way he subconsciously pulled her to him as he happily and dreamily breathed “Abby” realized she couldn’t live without this.

 

For over five years Abby had thought that her pills were the one thing she couldn’t live without, the one thing that could keep her focused and functioning like a human being and a doctor needed to and for five years she’s been wrong. Marcus. He was the one thing that she couldn’t live without. And it wasn’t going to be easy, oh it was going to be a battle of the ages because she knew as a doctor that once the body becomes dependent on a substance even with years upon years of being without it, of recovery and living with it out of your system at some level, under the surface the urge for it will still be there.

 

However, Abby’s time to be the strong woman she had worked her entire life to portray needed to warrior out starting at that moment and she knew that in this long journey she had everything she needed. Abby had her anchor to pull her up when she stumbled. Abby had her indestructible glue to gradually and with delicacy place each shattered fragment of herself together. Abby had her oxygen to breath air into her lungs when she felt like collapsing and she had her hope to kiss and touch strength into her bones.

 

It was always there. It was always Marcus.

 

“I choice you. I’ll always choose you.” Abby finally whispered into the night air, hoping the words penetrated his dreams and registered to the sleeping man which she just finished handing her life to. Almost literally. Taking a deep breath, Abby nested herself in the crock of his neck, pressing her ear to his chest, listening to the calming lullaby of his heartbeat. Willing the overflowing love she had for this man and for her daughter to stop her from reaching a few inches away where the bottle of pills stood, wanting her to give in.


End file.
